I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
