The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
