Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
