i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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