i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
