i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
