I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Randomize
