the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
