Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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