i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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