at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
did i just pee glitter
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
