There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
