If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
