She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
