i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
