I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
