so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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