she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just puked most of my soul out..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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