And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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