i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
