Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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