if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He kissed a someone with a penis
In America we eat man semen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
