I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
