Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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