Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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