if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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