My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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