so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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