i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
