You're my little dorito
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
