Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
