you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
