In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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