U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
