I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
