someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
