First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize