you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
