i would punch a child for taco bell
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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