So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
