hotel room ftw
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
