trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
