how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Too much gin, very little bucket
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
