I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
