Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
