last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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