escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
