Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
