their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
