Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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