Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
