imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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