I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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