she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
