when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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