I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
