I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
